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Saturday, February 19, 2005

My Mom's Days at Moon's Mall

The conspicuous consumption was the combative response of the ignored rich bores, eking out an attention-starved existence on the margins of the limelight in Hollywood, where the stars get all the love, admiration and attention.

Too proud to stalk, too cowardly to stab celebs to death, they channeled their murderous envy into shopping. So they stalked the shops where celebs went, and found out that if they spent zillion times more money than the celebs do, they get a teeny weeny bit of attention from those staff who were - naturally - spoilt brats, due to their daily brushes with stardom and getting lavish tips.

This became a movement, The Lifes of the Rich and Famous was born, and their offspring the yuppies and their offspring the synks followed.

Now synks have found out, that celebs come to Europe to hide from the madding crowd, including them, which really hurts. Synks are tortured knowing that celebs come to, say, Munich, enjoy hanging with the local popist yokels, buy property in France, own vineyards in Italy. Synks, ever too proud to stalk, too cowardly to stab celebs to death, they channel their murderous envy into Conspicuous Consumption Blogging, pretending to be in Europe:
It goes like this:
Yesterday I talked to my friend in France for three hours on the CELL PHONE from the lobby of such and such, discussing whether we would buy that property on the Côte d' Azure, but then dismissed France for like Italy, because we are into Slow Food, after three hours on the CELL I had to go because my friend the movie producer wanted to be picked up and brought to the Hilton Hotel in Munich where we dined together and discussed my mom's days at The Mall in the Valley Moon Zappa wrote the song about. That is to say, Moon wrote that song after she overheard MY MOM sigh, Gag Me With A Spoon.

Gisela Strauss
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